I am coming to You in trust. I need help. I need guidance, I need answers. Please take me in Your arms and hear my prayers. I have no where else to go but to you. I am so sad this Christmas, it is unlike any I have ever had before. I have accomplished some good things in my life this year, and I have fought some demons. I have moved forward in what You planned for me to do, at least I hope I have, but my heart is weighed down and I am in pain.
I miss my Dad, Lord, and I wonder what he would have thought if he saw the book I wrote! He is right there on the cover, shoveling snow. He is in my thoughts often, as is Mom. What would
she and I have laughed and talked about as we made Christmas dinner together? I miss them both a lot, especially this year. I miss my in-laws, Lord. We always had a really good time even if it was just over the phone, we'd share and giggle and feel almost as if we were together despite the miles between us.
Lord, we don't hear much from Trace anymore, I guess she is busy planning a summertime wedding for her daughter. Please take care of her, and I truly hope that one day she comes back to us all.
I miss my friend Embie who moved away and has her own life, one that doesn't include us anymore. I think I miss her the most because she and I were so much alike, and I truly loved spending time together, especially when we were much younger. As we got older, things changed and we started growing apart, but You always let us find time to laugh and share and even cry our problems to each other. But all that changed this past year, God.
Why did she have to leave us all so unexpectedly, and why do I feel in my heart that we will never have a relationship again? I have prayed so hard, Father, I have cried a thousand tears asking that You would restore her life, give her back the love for the man she left, let her see that he tries to understand the place she has gone to, and only wants to rescue her from the danger she has put herself in. I have cried for her husband, who continues to work on himself and his newly restored relationship with You. He perseveres. He has a love and devotion I had never seen before. But his pain is so deep as she shuts the door over and over again, but doesn't say goodbye. He would do anything for her, but she wants no part of it. Please bless him this Christmas with an encouraging person to help him heal. He only wants her back, so please make his Christmas dream come true.
Lord, I can only come to you with two words resounding in my heart - trust and wait. This is so hard for me to do, but You told Paul that Your grace was sufficient. He knew that he could go on because You said you would give him as much as he needed. You told us that although we will find temptation in our lives that You would also give us a way out. So we try to not think the thoughts that are so easy to think, and instead hold Embie up to you. I let go of it now, Lord, there is no current relationship between us, just the formality of saying the obligatory hello. But I thank You for the good times we did have over the years, and I ask that You bring answers to her problems. I ask that you send an angel to show her the way. I ask that if she ever has lonely nights that You place someone there for her to go to. I ask that you keep her healthy and rid her of any bad habits that may be hurting her, because even though we are no longer close friends, I do still care. Help her Lord where the rest of us couldn't, and help me to go on without her. Bring her godly friends who live the life of a Christian and hold Christian values and morals high.
I love you, Lord, and I rely on you for restored relationships, ones that seem impossible to restore. Ones that we can't fix, but somehow, even though it seems it could never happen, You can. I trust You and I will wait. Show me a miracle, bring Embie back!
Thank You for those that are in my life, Lord; for my husband that loves me. Please bless him especially, he has listened for hours as I cried to him, and he understands my pain. Please keep him healthy and prosper him in his walk with You and in his employment and in his plans for the future. Thank you for my friends and family that have loved and supported me this year. They have helped me so much by selling books and encouraging me. Please give them all their hearts' desire, and maybe someday we will all be together for Christmas, if only in my dreams.
In His name, Amen.