Thursday, May 10, 2012

Dear Father God, Thank You

Dear Father God,

I didn't know her face yet, I couldn't even imagine what she would look like, not even her gender.  But I loved her.  She was the child I was carrying because I wanted to be a mom, and You had answered that prayer.  I remember it was October 8, 1981 when I found out I was pregnant!  My greatest wish had come true! 

I couldn't wait to 'show.'  I wanted the whole world to know that I was having a baby.  I gained my 29 pounds but never got very big, except in my face and hands.  I had a wonderful pregnancy, the loving husband you gave me had the morning sickness for me! 

I very much wanted to give birth on Mother's Day, Father, but You had other plans.  She arrived five and a half hours after Mother's Day ended.  She had little wisps of blonde hair, the darkest blue eyes, she was 19.5 inches long, and weighed only 4.9 pounds.  She had hypoglycemia so they did a partial transfusion when she was only a few hours old.  They wouldn't use my blood and that broke my heart.  They said it was too tired from 18 hours of labor.  I could give her the blood that sustained her through my pregnancy, but not to raise her billiruben count.

I couldn't hold her for eight hours because she had an IV in her head.  Every 30 minutes the nurses would pierce her feet to take blood.  My poor baby's feet had these V marks all over them.  I can imagine how much that must have confused and hurt her.  Pain, for the very first time in her life.  Again and again, every 30 minutes and then every few hours after the transfusion.  If only I could have taken her pain.  But You had already done that, hadn't You? 

We named our daughter Mary Christine.  She was beautiful.  We came home from the hospital four days after she was born.  Eventually her eyes turned to a light brown hazel.  She was a smart child.  She was speaking sentences at 16 months, whistling at two, and snapping her fingers at three.  She was swimming at four and becoming more and more lovely as she grew.  Her first day of kindergarten was so hard for me.  She didn't have any problem, but I did.  I came home and cried.  Now she would have lots of friends and wouldn't need me as much.  Thank You for the time we had getting to know each other, just the two of us.  I know that in Your kindness and wisdom You would see to it that the formative years would be ours.  I didn't have to put her in a daycare, I was able to be at home and watch her grow.  I very much appreciate that, Lord, our time of being apart would come soon enough.

She gave herself to Jesus when she was five years old.  I still see the little blue bow in her hair bouncing up and down as she walked up the aisle for an alter call!  When she was young she wanted to be a youth minister.  Oh Father, she was so excited about going to youth church!  She found You in ways that I could never teach her.

Before we knew it she was going to college and engaged to be married to the boy she had met just a few days after school started at the new town we had moved to.  They had been together for five years by then.  You had brought her to this very special place in her life.  You were the one to nurture her and speak words of wisdom to her when I was not there.  You helped her to grow up and kept her healthy.  The world was at her fingertips!

My Mary was the most beautiful bride I ever saw!  It's true.  She was extraordinarily beautiful!  Love and the promise of a lifetime of happiness was all over her and her husband.  You were right there, Father, the third cord.  They arrived at the reception in a beautiful carriage drawn by white horses.  Their first dance was so sweet.  You blessed them and called them 'one.'   Her Dad and I cried that day, we were giving her away to someone else to take care of her.    You never gave her away, or him, you stayed right there with them. 

Then off to the honeymoon they went, and it was the first time she and I didn't talk every night.  She lived just an hour away, but then they moved four hours away.  We still spoke every night and she visited every couple of months.  Her husband got a job closer to here, and it was wonderful seeing them more often. 

Father, I became a mother 30 years ago today when you placed that baby in to my arms.  She doesn't live close by anymore, and we no longer talk on the phone every night.  I miss her terribly, but know that my job as a mom is different now.  I still want to sweep her into my arms and make any bad day she may have had be better.   I want to always have that shoulder for her to cry on and be there for her.  I want to hear about the fun things she is doing.  I want her life to be all she wanted it to be and I want her to always remember that You are there, watching and loving. 

God, You gave me the greatest of blessings when You brought my husband into my life.  You blessed us with each other and then blessed us with our Mary.  There is nobody like her in my life.  She is so vitally important to me and her Dad and her husband.  She is a gift from You, Lord. 

Today I wish her the happiest of birthdays, the most joyous of days, the answers to all life's questions, and a wisdom that only You can bestow on her.  I ask Your divine protection for her life, and that You bless her coming and bless her going.  I know that Your angels have charge over her and that You hold her right hand.  I know that You are in charge and in control of all of our lives. 

Thank You again, dear Father, for my precious baby girl!  You are such an awesome God to give me such a gift.  So today, on her 30th birthday, I say, thank You, Lord, for Your grace and kindness.  

Love always, 
Your daughter, Deirdre

"For He has strengthened the bars of your gates; He has blessed your children within you."  Psalm 147:12-14

"But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”  Matt 19:14

Dear Mary, Happy Birthday my beautiful girl! I love you!  This is for you with tons of love!
Mama xoxo

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