I love You. I love our Father. My life is in Your hands, and although that is the safest and most wonderful place to be, sometimes, for reasons that don't make any sense at all, I choose to walk away from that protection and security to a place that is on the doorway to hate, unforgiveness, pride, and judgement.
I can even hear You calling after me, "Come back child, My grace is sufficient," and yet I ignore You - my Friend, my Redeemer, my Comforter. It's like I've put on the iPod of the world, plugged it into my ears, and turned up the noise. I have completely drown out the symphonic choir and the glorious melody of the heavenly host.
My life quickly spirals into a dark place where my anger surprises even me. My rebellion makes me stop and wonder who I have become and how did I become so arrogant?
I find that I have become lost. It was just a short time ago that I was laughing and praying and thanking You for all the pleasures of this life, great and small. How does this happen so quickly? Why don't I see it coming?
Why do I let myself fall out of Your grace? I know that You haven't said, "See you later," but I did. I know that Your heart aches for me, because I am Your love, as You are mine.
You wait patiently for me as I recover my wits and hold my hands to my ears and scream, "Stop it! Just stop it! I can't hear myself think with all the noise!"
I cry because my life is miserable, I am no longer happy, and I feel alone. I have said things I regret, and acted like a fool. I am so remorseful. I don't believe I am worthy to ask for Your forgiveness, because I knew better, and this time I really messed up! I feel like all is lost, and that even You, the great Forgiver and Healer has closed Your holy eyes to my plight.
Of course this is one of the biggest lies the enemy has placed in the front of my mind, the lie that says that I am unworthy, and unacceptable to You, because You are God and I have finally met the end of Your tolerance for walking out on my own!
Lord, forgive me once more. Your word says that Your mercies are new every morning. You say you will protect me from evil.
I believe You, I believe in You! I trust that Your Word is Life. I trust You, O Lord!
Forgive me once more and receive me into Your loving embrace. I have returned downtrodden and humbled. Filled with humility from the error of my ways!
Thank You, Father for always forgiving me and reminding me that Your mercy endures forever!
I thank You, Jesus for Your inspiration today. Thank You for speaking to my very heart! I love You. Thank You for rescuing me. Help me to help others.
"The Lord will keep you from all harm - He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." Psalm 1221:7-8 NIV
"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23:6
"Listen God, I'm calling at the top of my lungs: "Be good to me! Answer me!" When my heart whispered "Seek God," my whole being replied, "I'm seeking Him!" Don't hide from me now! You've always been right there for me; don't turn Your back on me now. Don't throw me out, don't abandon me; You've always kept the door open. My father and mother walked out and left me, but God took me in. Point me down Your highway, God; direct me along a well-lighted street; show my enemies whose side You're on. Don't throw me to the dogs, those liars who are out to get me, filling the air with their threats. I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness in the exuberant earth. Stay with God! Take heart. Don't quit. I'll say it again: "Stay with God." Psalm 27:7-14 MSG
"Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever." Psalm 118:29