Monday, October 1, 2012

A Message to My Husband

Today is an anniversary for me.  On 1 October 1980 I cleaned up my apartment in Bergenfield, NJ and raced to Newark Airport to catch a flight to take me to a new life.  I boarded an orange Braniff Airlines plane destined for Dallas/Fort Worth where I connected with Rio Airways, an 11-seat 'plane' which took me to Killeen, Texas, right outside of Fort Hood, the largest military installation in the free world.  I was 24.

Waiting for me was Tucker Tolhurst, my best friend.  He was 34 years old, and about the handsomest man I know personally.  He has these beautiful eyes.  I say they are green, he insists they are hazel.  He had dark hair and a great moustache, one that men still envy to this day!  Actually, he wasn't just my best friend anymore, I had fallen in love with him over the last year.  He loved me too, and sent me the money to move, wanting it to have been much sooner than 1 October.  But my father asked me to wait until the end of the summer to be sure I wanted to move, and if I didn't change my mind, I was gone.  That was a long four months to wait, but well worth it.

Tuck and I were married six and a half months later, on 18 April 1981.  We honeymooned in a little cabin on Lake Belton and started our family.  Our Mary was born 13 months later.  Tuck was in the Army and we received orders for Germany in July 1983.  We flew to California to see his parents and on 4 October 1983 he got on a plane and left for Stuttgart.  While he was gone we received custody of his 16 year old daughter and she and Mary and I joined him right before Christmas that year.  We spent Christmas in an on-post hotel because the 3-story townhouse that he had rented was still being built.  Once complete, right before New Years 1984, we would live there for three years.  We enjoyed our time in Germany, and my stepdaughter made friends that she is still in touch with all these years later.  As a matter of fact, she has returned to Affalterbach where we lived several times in the last 25 years.

Our children grew up and got married, and we were alone again on 7 June 2003.  It was a quick adjustment, and we found that it was a chance to get to know each other again after 21 years of raising a daughter.  Now was our time.

Every day that I wake up next to this man, I thank God for him.  He is everything I have ever dreamed of, and gets better every year!  He treats me like Christ treats the church.  He places me above and respects me and nurtures me.  He makes me breakfast and packs my lunch and makes dinner many a night.  We eat in the dining room with candlelight--breakfast, lunch on weekends, and dinner. 

He is romantic.  When we were building our house in 1998, we were using picks to get the dirt out of the trenches where the water line was so that we could add our own PVC pipe in case we ever got a sprinkler system.  The back and forth of the trucks that came to build the house had filled in the trenches in some places.  It was summer in Texas, and it was hot.  We were sweating and working as fast as we could so we could get home and shower and relax.  We had the car radio on to distract us from the dirty task at hand.  Unchained Melody sung by the Righteous Brothers came on, and Tuck dropped his pick and asked me to dance!  Sweaty, dirty, and tired, I smiled and reached for his outstretched hand and we held each other close and made one of the most precious memories I have.  I will always love him for that moment, the one that made me feel like a million dollars, a princess, no, a queen! 

He is not only romantic, he is funny.  Many years ago he bought new sneakers.  Nice white ones (that was really the only color back then).  One day we were somewhere listening to someone talk and he had his leg crossed over the other, ankle on knee, and decided to write "LEFT" on the back of the heel of his left shoe.  Then "RIGHT" on the other one.  I wasn't paying any attention, and it wasn't until a few days later that I was walking behind him and noticed!  I couldn't believe it!  I admit that I was a little embarrassed at the time (I was much younger then), and I didn't think it was that funny.  Now maybe if the writing was on the wrong shoe, but no, he just looked silly.  And he didn't care.  That wasn't something that would bother a man like him, just a woman like me.  I laugh now thinking about it though.

We have a big hill in our backyard, and although we don't get much snow here, when we do we get on a piece of plastic and sled down it.  We have so much fun together.  He has brought me more smiles than I ever dreamed my face could hold.  He is God's sweet gift to me.  He is man enough to get on his knees at the bedside with me and pray before we go to sleep.  He prays for me while we walk in the morning.  He always asks God to bless "my DeeDee extra special today and give her the words that will inspire others." 

He has never hesitated to help out someone financially if it is in his power, and doesn't forget to pray for their prosperity and health. 

I am so in love with my husband.  That October day 32 years ago he had one yellow rose waiting for me in a Mateus bottle.  For years afterwards he gave me a yellow rose. Then red roses with a single yellow rose.  Sometimes all he could afford was a little silk rose at the checkout of 7-11, but he made sure that I knew I was his 'yellow rose of Texas.'  Everyday when I leave for work he escorts me to the garage carrying my briefcase, lunch and coffee.  He wipes my windshield if it is full of bugs.  When I get to the street I stop and look 200 feet down towards the house, and I shout, "I love you Darling!"  He waves and yells, "I love you Sweetheart, have a nice day!  Be careful!  And he blows me a kiss."  On mornings when he leaves before me, I almost don't know what to do, I miss it so much.

Thank you for letting me tell you about my best friend, dear Reader.  Yes, he still is.  He is the love of my life after Jesus.  He has no problem taking second seat to our Savior.  I just wanted to honor him today for being such a good man to all those who know him.  He is righteous and decent, and always has been.  It was his decency that attracted me to him in the first place.

Thank you, Tuck, for loving me the way you do.  You have made my life not only meaningful, but lovely.  You have wiped my tears away, laughed at my silly jokes and made me feel like I was the only thing in the world that mattered.  You are handsome and funny, and considerate and kind.  You have held me when I was cold, and comforted me when I grieved, toasted marshmallows in the driveway on the Fourth of July, and made memory after memory with me.  I love you with all my heart and I always will!  You are truly my gift from God, Who continues to bless me with your presence in my life.  You are my love, and I will love you forever.

Deirdre

17 comments:

  1. Wow, Deirdre! I am trying to write through tears but I can't think of anything that matches what I am feeling. What a blessing the two of you have in each other, a rare gift that is becoming more rare every day. Great post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Linnea, I truly am blessed. He is the love of my life.

      Delete
  2. This is a beautiful story. You have a treasure in this story. Please consider sharing more about your hubby and your relationship in an effort to teach others how Christian couples treat each other. I thought your comments about him accepting that he comes after Christ were so important. God bless you both. - Delinda McCann

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Delinda, very much for such nice words. Perhaps I will one day write about how we both came to the Lord. We certainly had our share of hard times, and there were times when I wanted to leave, but God! God kept us together. Through all the hard times God was there when we didn't even know Him. As He is in every marriage. God bless you!

      Delete
  3. Oh my goodness!! You should write a Christian romance story based on your lives. I don't suppose I could borrow himn for a week? I can't promise to return him though lol. I just want my husband to see what a "model" husband looks like :). This was so uplifting--what a near-perfectmarriage should be like. I know you realize how very lucky you are!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Micki, thank you for such sweet words. Sorry, can't lend him out, we've pretty much grown accustomed to each other! lol I am very blessed, yes! And God bless you today too!

      Delete
  4. What a beautifully written, loving tribute to your husband. He sounds like a rare gem. Here's wishing you many more years of happiness together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, Sandy, he really is. I absolutely love this man! Thanks, I hope we have many more years together too!

      Delete
  5. Deirdre – Your sharing with others, about how much you love “your man” says a lot about the kind of woman you really are. Yes, devoted, loving, committed, and respectful . . . but, oh so much more. Your strength of character shines beautifully from within. And, woven throughout your giving spirit is your faith, which serves as a beacon to the people in your life, especially Tuck. How else could you give your love so fully to another? If one loses faith, perhaps they could lose all . . . but, you’ll still have your Tuck to see you through. Isn’t that the blessing you deserve? I’m sure that the life you have built together with Tuck has had a hundred household projects, a thousand difficult decisions, ten-thousand bills to pay . . . but a million moments of love, joy, and togetherness. Hey, I’ll take those numbers any day. So go forward hand and hand with your Tuck, and look back proudly at the path you’ve chosen, simply because, you had each other.
    I’m gonna find my bride and kiss her, just because I read your blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Peter, thank you for those words! Yes, we have suffered heartache and angry moments and all that comes with life. But God saw us through, and we are that much stronger for it. That is so sweet about kissing your bride. It really made me smile. :)

      Delete
  6. My Dear Deirdre,
    You are indeed lucky as Tuck is as well. I have also known such love as you may have read in one on my post . Men of God are rare and with such a love all things are possible and tolerable. I am so happy you have this kind of love in your deserving life The one message I try to always leave with friends and family is to never go to bed angry and think before you speak words you can never take back. It sounds like that is how you have grown strong as well. Doug and I in over 26 years have never spoken a bad word to each other and it is so nice to find someone else enjoying this same God given life. BTW: Unchained Melody is our song too! I knew we were alike! God Bless you both always.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Rosemary, It is truly a blessing when God opens our eyes to reveal that the differences we have in each other is the glue that binds us. Tuck and I have spoken bad words over the years, but we have always apologized and asked for forgiveness, and thankfully, each of us has obliged. Our love and respect for each other did not start without pain and doubt. We have many stories of the trials we went through and how we arrived here. But the journey seems to start fresh everyday, and I am so happy that every day that walk is us hand-in-hand with the Lord. God bless you and Doug my dear friend! Hugs always!

      Delete
  7. Good morning, sweet Deirdre. I am a few days late in reading your post since we have been on vacation. Thank you for sending the email via Awakenings. Apparently I am not receiving the email notifications. Then, of course, it could be buried in the hundreds that are still lying dormant waiting to be opened. This is such a beautiful tribute. I am very fortunate to have a husband with many, many of the attributes you have shared. We still hold hands everywhere we go and when we get separated in Walmart we simply call out "Hey, Bay-bee!" in our own special tone and very shortly we reunite. Be on the lookout for my next catnip post that I just started last evening (hopefully will be up today). You will understand when you read it. It is ironic that your message and postings are the first for me to read this AM. We are motoring down the highway with about 5 hours to go and we will be home. Foxie is in my lap and Boots is stretched out beside the computer.

    Love you, Deirdre, and as always, your words touch my heart more that you will ever know. Happy Anniversary even if a few days late!

    ReplyDelete
  8. What a wise and informative story. I know John and I started out with me being at rock bottom after Iran, if it hadn't been for him, then I would have never known I was bipolar, and without him, I would have never been strong enough to go into rehab. Been clean since 2008 :):) There will always be ups with downs, and sometimes the downs make us realize how tied we are to that other individual, because we chose to STAY ANYWAY! Thank you for these words they mean alot. Lori

    www.lorissong.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. This was beautiful and inspiring, Deirdre. Thanks for writing it and keep up the great work. It encourages the rest of us to keep on doing the same.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear DivineheartofGod, thank you for your kind words. I hope that you were able to peruse my blogs. I hope to hear from you again! God bless you!

      Delete
  10. Hi,
    What a beautiful testimony of divine love. I think of John Donne and his poetry, especially the one about true love. I am extremely happy for you Deirdre. Again, I say as I read your testimony to your husband, that I also thought of Ephesians 5 where men are exhorted to love their wives as Christ loves the church. You have lived and are living this fulfillment and I am rejoicing with you.
    May you continue to experience the deep and intimate ways of love for each other in a relationship that has been ordained by God.
    Love you Deirdre.
    Ciao,
    Patricia

    ReplyDelete

I would love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment and let me know if this post has made you think or helped you. To comment, just click the word "comment" even if it has a zero before it.. Please leave a message. BE SURE TO PREVIEW FIRST SO THAT YOUR COMMENT IS ACCEPTED, AND TYPE IN THE WORD VERIFICATION. Thank you, and have a blessed day!

On Name/URL tab, just type name (URL is optional)