My First Love

I don't remember anything at all about those nine months so many decades ago. Those 270 days were the most influential and important time of my life, and yet I have no recall of even one minute. I don't remember all the knowledge and wisdom you imparted to me. I don't remember your words of love, or the touch of your hands that brought me so much joy and life. I don't remember your eyes, their color, or the sound of your voice. I don't remember even one word you ever spoke to me then. I have forgotten the sound of your laughter. I don't remember holding your finger, or smiling at you as you smiled at me. I don't even remember your sweet embrace.

I've read the words you wrote me over and over again. You called me yours. You said I was your beloved, that I was your bride, and that I could do anything if I would just rely on your help. You told me my history and my future and all about that magnificent mansion where I would someday live. You cautioned me about dangers in my way, but left me instructions about how to fight all my battles.

You said you had a great and lovely plan for me and explained my entire life and how I could get the most out of it. You taught me about life and love and compassion and grace. You shared your life story and your life with me.

I've read the words you wrote many times, and even though I don't remember those nine months back in the day, those words help me to feel close to you. So I keep returning to them and reading them while holding them close to my heart. They have made me laugh, and cry and smile. They have made me yearn for you.

I know I can't go back to that time when we were together 24/7 when you knit me together in my mother's womb, but I am living the journey of love you have me on. I love how I know you are here. I love that you still smile in delight and sing and dance at my spiritual growth. I love that you still look at me with love in your eyes and that you still hurt when I am wronged. I love that you are jealous for me. I love that you haven't given up on me, but instead keep encouraging me. I love how you pick up the pieces of my broken life and gather each one of my tears. I love that I will be with you always, even until the end of the age.

You were my first love then, and you still are. I love you with every cell of my being. My breath is from and for you. I cherish you. I adore you. I am yours forever!