"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Psalm 139:23-24 NLT (Part 5 of 5 in a series on Psalm 139)
It's not easy to expose our hearts in search of things we do that are offensive. It's not even easy when we ask and give permission to God to search us. Oftentimes it's even harder to swallow when He exposes the dirt in our hearts. We didn't know we had so many dark places in there.
If we truly want to live the life Jesus died to give us, we must ask and be willing for Him to cleanse us. He will take whatever may be hindering us and place it in the fire of purification until all the dross (impurities) float to the top. Then He will scoop all that junk off and we will shine like gold! But nothing worthwhile comes easily.
In this verse, we ask God to test us. We all know that testing us isn't necessarily something we want. It means hard times and suffering, and probably knowing that it will continue until we understand and learn that after suffering is joy and peace. Who, after all, isn't happy when the sun comes out after a major storm? But while that storm is raging, we are clinging to the hope that God will get us through it, and we pray, 'Let the tornado go away!' '"Stop the hurricane!' 'Please God, make the snow stop!'
Have you ever been caught in a rainstorm so heavy that your windshield wipers weren't fast enough, and you couldn't even see the end of your car's hood? And then a semi truck passes you splashing you with more water, shaking your car, and leaving a trail of white mist so thick you don't know if you're even on the road? At that time aren't you asking God to 'Please get me out of this, help me find a safe spot so I can pull over! Please, God!'
During those times you plead your case to God, you are acknowledging that only He can bring you safely through the turmoil. And He does, doesn't He? So when you understand that His love for you is to help you through any situation and to do things for your good and His glory, go ahead and have that same faith that the purifying is going to make you stronger and help you on your path to living a godly life.
It really comes down to how badly you want to be more like Jesus. Jesus had a pure heart, that's why He was able to forgive the unforgivable and love the unlovable. And that's how we're commanded to be as well. So, just say, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. I trust You!" You won't regret it!
Have a beautiful day, filled with the love of God!