We have all been there, stunned that things aren't exactly what we thought. Everything seemed to be alright and then the world came crashing down around us. Someone we love left.
They had to have had a reason to leave or they wouldn't have in the first place. Now the question comes, "What could I have done differently?" but all the reasoning in the world doesn't change things. They left. You are alone and lonely and so sorry for all the things you didn't know you could have fixed. You would do anything at all for that one you so desperately love. You want to say 'Please come back!' but you are afraid they will say no. You want to say, "I will do anything you ask, I'm different now, I have finally found my way, I'm sorry that I made you leave." But you are afraid they won't believe you. Being on this end is so hard.
But the one that left must live alone too. You don't just walk out of a relationship and not look back. There are memories of so many good times as well as the bad. But you feel safer loving from a distance, the hurt is not right in your face. If you want to you can change the channel on your mind and not think about it. You can refuse calls, return mail, and not answer emails. The new land that you are in looks nicer, and there are new people to talk to, but there is no one here that knows you like the ones you left behind. You may think that life is rosy here, but it's not at all familiar, and not really where you want to be. Being on this end is so hard. It isn't all fun like they think it must be. But it's risky thinking about coming back. What if it starts all over again? What if all I gained is lost? What about when people talk? You think it may be easier just staying here so you don't have to go through all that.
The one constant, dear Reader, in both sides of this one situation is that Jesus is there with you. He is never far away. He wants you to run to Him, not walk! Like a child, run with arms open and jump into His loving embrace! Squeeze your arms around His neck and laugh and cry and just hang on! He doesn't want you to feel like you have done too many things that can't be forgiven. He will forgive, He says so. All you have to do is ask, and then show Him that you mean it. Don't ever feel like you don't know how to go to Him. It really isn't so hard to find a brother or sister in Christ to go to. Sometimes it is just a phone call away, sometimes it takes going to church, either way, help and comfort is there wherever you are.
The struggle to find our one true love is difficult. We search and go through sorrow, happiness, doubt, and expectations. But when we first begin a relationship that we want to last we are hopeful. It is like that when we find Jesus. We hear it will be wonderful, but will it last? Are we ready to come to Him with all the sin in our heart and ask for forgiveness? We start to feel undeserving because of the things we have done or are doing. We realize we became too much like the world and although we forgot that it would disappoint Him we remember that now.
Living in God's will is not easy. It is not filled with joy every moment. Being a good Christian is the hardest thing anyone will ever do. It is a commitment to Him. It is saying that we are ready to go through the furnace knowing that He is in there with us, even when the heat is turned up (see Daniel chapter 3). It is willing to do what you know is right even though the flesh is screaming "No! Don't submit yourself to that again!" If you have seen the Almighty work in the one you left behind, and you know that it will be different, go back. There is nothing for you where you are. But go with Jesus in your heart. Don't expect things to be different without that. No changes in you or them will happen without God in your life.
If you haven't yet found Jesus and surrounded yourself with His love and forgiveness, you need to. As long as there is a tugging in your heart that draws you back, you need to get on your knees and make it right with Him first. Don't put it off. He really is your one true love.
There needs to be welcome arms like Jesus has for the one who returns. Just feast and celebration, no questions, just like the Lost Son's father (see Nov 11 entry in this blog) had for him. There will be time for remembering and sharing later. But there should be only love, on both sides. We are all part of the father and part of the son in that parable, but forgiveness and asking for forgiveness changes our world. Of course the father is God, who we try to emulate, and the son is all of us.
Keep steady, dear Reader, do as He tells you; when He tells you to move, then move! Throw away your fears and rest in the love and strength of Jesus. Be willing to be humble. He will carry you through!
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